Core Transformation with Intrusive Negative Thoughts

Here’s what one of Mark Andreas’ clients said after a session of Core Transformation:

“I felt liberated by the process. And it didn’t just affect that relationship we worked on, but changed my whole state of consciousness. There’s more of a sense of oneness with what’s around me. Things look more beautiful and rich. There’s a sense of peace and things are more intense in a positive way.”
~Susan

Core Transformation with Intrusive Negative Thoughts

Susan had been obsessing over a close friendship that had ended totally unresolved. For years both during and after the friendship, Susan had been replaying negative scenes in her mind and had ongoing internal chatter about these negative interactions. She realized this was consuming her energy in an unpleasant way, and at times made it difficult to connect with others. This is why she came to see me.

The Back Story

When Susan became friends with “Clara,” they bonded over similar health challenges. Clara was always very flowery about the friendship, but soon into it, Susan began having serious misgivings. Clara would make false accusations about what Susan was feeling, and would sometimes exhibit bizarre competitiveness. Over the 12 years of their friendship, Susan found herself replaying the negative things Clara said, with a frequency and intensity that disturbed her. Susan tried to put these unpleasant thoughts out of her mind, but she had no control over them. Finally, she realized that the friendship wasn’t healthy for her, and she needed to end it. However, even after being away from Clara for a year, Susan’s preoccupation with Clara’s past negative comments and accusations remained. Susan told me, “If a mutual friend would mention Clara’s name, my stomach would go into a knot. And if I was gardening and there was space for my thoughts, I’d still get bombarded by the worst things Clara said to me. It was even worse than my breakup with my ex.”

“And so you’d like to change being bombarded by those thoughts?” I ask.

“Yes. Recently Clara died, and Henry, a close friend of both of us was over. Henry was talking about Clara in glowing terms. It brought a lot more of these thoughts up in me, and a part of me wanted to blurt them out to him—all my reasons for why everything was not so glowing with Clara. I knew that wouldn’t be helpful, so I kept the thoughts to myself, but at the same time, I felt disconnected not being able to share my own experience. The thoughts I’m having are like I’m trying to ‘make my case to the universe’ for why I ended the friendship. It was the right decision to end the friendship; I know that. And I think it’s fine that Henry still had a great relationship with Clara right up until the end. And I did see Clara again in the months before she died, and our connection was warm, but there was never space to discuss those things that had bothered me. So now more than ever, I just don’t want to have these thoughts keep going on and on about what wasn’t working in how she related with me. They’re not enjoyable thoughts, and it takes up a lot of energy. I just don’t want these things replaying in my mind with her.”

Let the changework begin!

What Susan was finding so challenging, and difficult to shift, would likely be amenable to the deep changework process called Core Transformation* (CT). I’m including the full session here, so you can get a taste of how such a significant shift came about in just a single session. You can read more about this method in the book, Core Transformation, or come to a live Core Transformation Training. Perhaps you have your own feelings, thoughts, or behaviors you’d like to have become a doorway to the kind of shift in consciousness that Susan described.

Finding the unconscious part

“Ok, so you don’t want these things replaying in your mind. That makes sense,” I say. “So close your eyes, and think about the different times and places where these thoughts have replayed in your mind.”

Susan closes her eyes and nods.

“And now choose a particular time where these thoughts occurred. Mentally step into the memory now, as it was when it happened… seeing through your eyes… hearing through your ears… and feeling what you felt at the time.”

She nods.

“Since you didn’t consciously decide to have these thoughts, it’s as if some unconscious or automatic part of you generated them… So you can begin to sense this part of you in your body or around you. Where do you sense this part?”

“In my solar plexus.”

Acknowledging and discovering the positive purpose

“Great, and you can thank this part of you for being here because you can trust that just like all parts of you, this part also has something positive it wants, even if you don’t yet know what it is…” I had already talked with Susan about how all our parts have a positive purpose—even those that do things we don’t like. So this idea was already familiar to her. “And once you’ve thanked this part, you can ask this part, ‘What do you want?’ Then relax and turn inward, and notice what response comes back from this part of you.”

Susan responded almost immediately, “It wants to have the pain and disappointment that I felt with Clara acknowledged, so I can let go and get my needs met somewhere else.”

Finding the deeper purposes

“Wonderful. Thank this part for its response, and invite this part of you to step into what it’s like to already have the pain and disappointment that you felt with Clara acknowledged, so it can let go and get your needs met somewhere else…. And ask this part, ‘When you have the pain and disappointment you felt acknowledged so you can let go and get your needs met somewhere else, what is it you want, through having that, that’s even deeper or more important?’”

“Then I have a sense of oneness with other beings.”

“Great. Thank this part for this response, and invite it to step into what it’s like to already have a sense of oneness with other beings, fully and completely… And when this part of you already has a sense of oneness with other beings, ask this part, ‘When you have a sense of oneness with other beings, what is it you want, through having this, that is even deeper or more important?”

“No self.”

Finding the Core State

When we do Core Transformation, using this precise line of questioning, at some point the part gets to its deepest or final outcome—something we call the “Core State.” The first outcomes a part wants usually have to do with getting things from others, or doing things, or attaining things. Then there’s a shift to a state that “just is.” We teach more about how to recognize the Core State in the trainings, but in general it’s:

At this point, we are just three outcomes in, yet “No self” meets the criteria for a Core State, so I change the question slightly. After inviting the part to step into what it’s like to already have “no self,” I say: “Ask this part when you already have ‘no self’ fully and completely, is there anything you want through having ‘no self,’ that is even deeper or more core?” The only difference is that rather than assuming there is something deeper wanted, I just ask if there is anything deeper wanted.

“Universal consciousness,” she answers. This could also be a Core State, so I continue asking in the same way, whether there is anything wanted through this, that is even deeper or more Core. Through “Universal consciousness,” the part wants peace, and through peace, it wants love. When I ask if there is anything even deeper or more core it wants through having love, there is no answer—just more experience of love. That’s how I know this is the part’s Core State.

“Now invite this part to just bask in ‘love’ as a way of being. And my sense of this love is that it isn’t the kind of love where you’re loving someone else or yourself, or someone else is loving you. My sense is it’s a kind of love that just is, a love as a way of being, is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

This matters. If Susan had said, “the part wants love from my parents,” or “it wants me to love myself,” this wouldn’t be a Core State because it is dependent on someone doing the loving. (Even if that someone doing the loving is the self, there’s still an inner split—the part of us doing the loving, and the part getting loved). The love Susan is experiencing is a kind of love that just is, as opposed to something that is given or received. It’s a way of being—even beyond universal consciousness—that can be experienced regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen.

Realizing we don’t have to wait, to experience Core States

“Great, so love is this part’s Core State—what it wants at the deepest, most core level. And as this part of you basks in its experience of love, now, I’ll say a little bit for the benefit of this part of you. Often our parts think that in order to experience their Core States, they need to first do certain things or get certain things. And that may seem like a great plan. The only problem is we don’t get to experience our Core States very often going about it in that way. The good news is that the best way to experience a Core State of being, is just to step into it and have it, as this part of you is experiencing right now. So ask this part, ‘When you already have love as a way of being in an ongoing way, how does already having love make things different in general?”

“Ah, it makes things so much nicer and easier.”

Finding how the Core State transforms each of the other things that were wanted (reversing the outcome chain)

“Great, and you can invite this part of you to breathe this in, and you can ask this part, ‘When you already have love as a way of being, how does already having love in an ongoing way, radiate through, enrich or transform peace?”

“It makes it easy.”

“And you can breathe this in, and ask this part, ‘When you already have love as a way of being, how does already having love in an ongoing way, radiate through, enrich or transform universal consciousness?”

I continue to ask this question, going in reverse order for each of the things the part said it wanted. This allows this part of Susan to experience how already having the Core State of love, naturally transforms or enriches each of these areas of experience. When we get back through them all, I say, “Ask this part, ‘When you already have love as a way of being, how does already having love in an ongoing way, radiate through, enrich or transform, the situations in which you used to have the thoughts replaying in your mind?”

“It’s just quiet.”

Susan’s experience has already shifted significantly. Instead of the mind chatter and replay of obsessive thoughts, she now experiences “just quiet.” This is a goal of many meditation approaches, and Susan is experiencing it in just minutes through this organic process. This is possible because with Core Transformation we are discovering the deepest want of the very part that was bothering us. When it is deeply satisfied, we no longer have to fight with it. And yet there is even more that we can do to get even further integration and to deepen the experience.

Growing up the Part

“OK, wonderful. Now, often these unconscious parts of us were formed at a much younger age than we are now. It’s as if they split off at this younger time to protect us or serve us in the best way they knew how, and yet now, many years later, it’s as if these parts are still responding from that younger developmental age. So ask this part of you, ‘How old are you?’ Or, ‘How old was I when you were formed?’ ”

“Three.”

“Thank this part for its response, and ask this part if it would like to make its job a whole lot easier by having the benefits that come from evolving forward through time, so it can still have all the choices it already has, plus the additional choices that come from everything you’ve learned and gained since the age of three?”

“Yes, it would like to.”

“Great, so you can begin by inviting this part to fully enjoy experiencing its Core State of love at the age of three… And when this part is ready, in its own time and in its own way, it can begin evolving forward through time, noticing how having love as an ongoing way of being, naturally radiates through, enriches, or transforms each experience, even as it gains new resources, wisdom, and learnings as it evolves up through time zzzzrrrrrrppppppppp! And you can nod when it reaches the present moment.”

Nodding.

“Great, and where do you sense this part of you now, in your body or around you?”

“It’s bigger, through more of my chest.”

“It’s bigger, through more of my chest.”

“Oh, wow.”

“And now, you can notice what it’s like having love available to all of you. You can notice how this further deepens and enriches your experience of peace… and universal consciousness… and no self… and sense of oneness with other beings… and what was wanting to have the pain and disappointment you felt acknowledged, so you could let it go.” Here I’m just listing in reverse order each of the things the part initially said it wanted. “And you can notice how having love available to all of you, as an expression of your wholeness, also radiates through, transforms or enriches the situations in which you used to have the old response.”

“It’s totally different; it’s just easy.”

Checking for objections to the Core State

“OK, so you can just ask on the inside, checking with all parts of you, ‘Is there any part of me that has an objection to having love as an ongoing way of being into the future?’ ”

“A little bit. There was just a little bit of a twinge of the old feeling in the solar plexus.”

“OK, so it may be that there is still some aspect of the three-year-old part that didn’t evolve forward through time with its Core State of love, so check in and see if that fits with your…”

“Oh yeah. Right when you said that it was like it just dove down into the ocean of love and now it’s good with it.”

Because Susan described this as the same feeling she started with, and in the same location, I suspected that this simple instruction might match her unconscious experience. And it clearly did.

Because Susan described this as the same feeling she started with, and in the same location, I suspected that this simple instruction might match her unconscious experience. And it clearly did.

“No.”

Timeline generalization

“OK. And now you can imagine your whole past flowing into a line or pathway behind you, and you can see your entire future like a line or pathway in front of you.… And as you experience this Core State of love, you can imagine floating up above your timeline, and traveling all the way back and coming down just before the moment of your conception. So in front of you, you see the moment of your conception going all the way up to your present and on out into the future. And when you’re ready you can imagine stepping into the moment of your conception, noticing what it is like to be a single cell coming into being filled with love as a way of being. And of course, as the cells multiply, this Core State of love also multiplies and develops as you develop and are born into the world with love as a way of being, taking your first breaths and noticing how love radiates through, transforms and enriches each experience up through time… and you can let me know when you reach the present moment…”

After about a minute she says, “Ok.”

“Great, and now you can look forward to how having love will naturally radiate through, enrich, or transform future situations. And you can notice in particular what new behaviors and responses will be naturally available to you as expressions of love.”

“Wow, this feels great.”

“Great. I think we’re done for today.”

2-week follow-up

When I met with Susan 2 weeks later, she said, “After the session, there were no vignettes of Clara playing in my mind the first few days. Then sometimes they would come up, but with less charge. And when they did I would go back to my ‘three-year-old’ and say, “Just take a dive.” Not in a negative way, but in a lighthearted, humorous way. And it would dive right into the ocean of love, it was wonderful. Now when I think about Clara, there is no remaining business, no need to make my case about it. Since the session, I’ve felt a pervasive sense of contentment for the last two weeks, and I’ve never had that before, where a positive result continues for such a long time. And I’m still experiencing it.”

1-month follow-up

“The session has held. It is really kind of amazing. I’d been having problems with that issue for years. It would get worse or better, but it was always there. Recently a couple times it started again, and I just remembered that part diving into the ocean of love, and all was well. When I garden now I’m at peace. And when the mutual friend mentions Clara’s name, I feel fine. I feel that it has to be better for him as well. And it’s really important that this happened now. Clara is still relevant to my daily tasks because she left proceeds from her house to me and our mutual friend and some others. I never expected her to leave anything for me, but she did, and so we’re all working together on sorting out what she left us. Now I can feel love towards her, and appreciation for what she left me, rather than all those old uncomfortable thoughts.”

*Core Transformation was developed by Connirae Andreas. This detailed description of the process is published with the permission of the developer. Names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy, and this account is published with the permission of my client.

Find out when is the next Core Transformation training from Andreas NLP.

Also check out the Advanced Core Transformation training, and the Core Transformation Coach Certification training.

The Core Transformation story: How the process came to be

The Beginning:

connirae trainers andreas nlp training1

It was a week-long visit to Milton Erickson in 1979, that is probably responsible for beginning my quest to find the Core Transformation process. During the last year of his life, Dr. Erickson had the policy of only accepting mental health professionals as “visitors.” As we understood it, this was because he wanted to devote his remaining time to helping the next generation of counselors and therapists. One small group would come in for a week at a time, spending each morning in a small circle in Dr. Erickson’s home office, listening to him tell stories about his clients. A therapist friend of mine signed up for a week and invited me to join her small group of friends and colleagues in Phoenix AZ.

When I went, I was dealing with a very difficult personal issue. My friend encouraged me to ask Dr. Erickson for a private session, since he had helped her with a similar issue within the past year. I felt more than a bit intimidated by the “famous Dr. Erickson”, but on the first day we were there, when I said “hello” and introduced myself, I got my courage up and asked him if he would work with me privately. He said “Yes,” smiling and nodding his head, but then turned away without anything further—no explanation about how to set up appointment; no next step. I was confused.

Everyone was getting seated, and Dr. Erickson was definitely “in charge,” so I didn’t ask any questions, but waited for him to let me know when this private session would happen. During the morning group session, at some point Erickson mentioned offhand and with a big smile, that his license had expired, so he could no longer work with anyone privately.

Now I was really confused! Was he really going to work with me, then? Maybe he had meant he would use me as a demonstration person in the small group… This thought gave me a little reassurance, so every time he demonstrated a trance technique with someone, I did my best to be responsive. I noticed that he sometimes demonstrated with the person sitting next to him in the small circle. So the next day I made sure I sat in that place. But he didn’t work with me. The next day, when I sat farther away, he finally did use me as a demonstration person, but nothing much happened. Once more I was disappointed. Each day I would get my hopes up, and each day I was disappointed.

Finally, on the last day, I gave up. I resigned myself to not getting anything for myself personally, so I thought I may as well just learn as much as I could about what he was doing with others during this last session. Instead of trying to trance out, I just stayed alert and watched for the analogue marking, etc., that he was doing with everyone else. Since I knew some of the other people, it made more sense.

About an hour or more into the morning, as I sat there, all of a sudden I became a different person—that’s the only way I know how to describe it. Within a matter of seconds, I suddenly felt like I had never felt before. I still don’t know how to put it into words, but looking back on it I felt a sense of complete wellbeing. Plus I had a kind of wordless inner “knowing” that whatever happened, I would be OK—things would be fine no matter what. I had never felt that way before, in such a complete way. I assumed the man sitting on the other side of the circle in the purple suit had something to do with this, but I sure didn’t have any idea how.

At this moment, Erickson looked straight at me and said in his slow, rhythmic voice, “And your unconscious mind has just made an important decision.” (OK, so that’s pretty clear—he not only had something to do with this, but knew exactly when it took effect.) “…and you don’t know what it is,” he continued. That is exactly what I was thinking. I thought about the major issue in my life that I had been in such turmoil about, and realized I still didn’t have a clue what I would do, or how I would “solve” the situation. But somehow I knew things would be fine. The thought went through my mind, “I’m not sure if I would have anything to work with him about—maybe I don’t need a private session now.”

And that was the moment Erickson said, “And do you still feel a need to work with me privately?”

I said, “No, I don’t think so.” I was still very puzzled. I didn’t know what had happened, and I had no idea what I was going to do about my life situation. Yet I had a knowing that it was handled.

Over the next several weeks, this feeling of wellbeing and clarity stayed with me very strongly. What I needed to do gradually came to me over the next several days, without any conscious thinking or planning. My experience was that it sort of “bubbled up” without my doing anything. I carried out my new plan in a way that felt more congruent than I can remember ever having felt before. Even though it was something difficult, I felt I could act from a place of love and respect, and without an attachment to what would happen as a result.

This experience left me with the clear knowledge that rapid and very deep change was definitely possible, and possible for me. Before this time, I had been doing and teaching NLP. I loved it because of the reliable results it would get with other people, but I was frustrated that it usually didn’t seem to work with me. Other people looked different and said they were getting good changes, but with rare exception, that didn’t seem to happen when I went through the processes.

My experience with Erickson stayed with me as a “puzzle” to be solved. Many times over the following years I pondered the question, “How did he get that dramatic and deep change in me?” The full results I experienced over those first few weeks didn’t completely “stick,” and I wanted a way to get back to the experience of wellbeing I had felt so strongly. Plus, I thought if I could find some all-purpose method for having that kind of experience, many people could benefit.

I don’t think I ever answered my question of What Erickson did with me—the audiotapes of the session were so garbled I couldn’t make them out, and I had no awareness of what might have happened. When I attempted to model my “pre” and “post” experience with submodalities, it didn’t seem to capture the full depth of what had happened. But having that experience made me persistent in seeking a deeper change method than we had to date within NLP.

The Threads from NLP:

The main threads leading to the CT process itself, came from the field of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). One contributing element is the parts model, and the other is the language models: presuppositions and language patterns.

The Parts Model:

I had always been drawn to the “parts” methods; 6-step reframing and the parts/polarities integration. {I believe that credit for developing the 6-step reframing format goes to John Grinder. He says his unconscious mind came up with it once when he was too sick to teach, and he programmed his unconscious mind to teach for him. Virginia Satir deserves the credit for the main idea behind 6-step reframing—of finding positive outcomes—she did this within the family system, and also did “Parts Parties” for identifying and integrating parts within an individual. John and Richard developed their parts model formats by studying her work, and the work of Perls and Erickson. We assume Richard and John also developed the Visual Squash (an explicit method for integrating polarities/parts by using two hands) because it appears in Structure of Magic Vol II (P. 86-88), and was on early audiotapes of their seminars that they gave Steve to use in putting together the book, Frogs into Princes ( pp 129-135) }

For me personally, the parts methods worked better than the anchoring-based methods. Very early on, when I did parts work I intuitively started going to a “higher” level of positive purpose than what I had been taught to do. It just felt like a good idea, and I often did this with clients when I taught the Visual Squash Parts Integration. I remember once when Robert Dilts came to Colorado and did a demonstration of the Visual Squash. (This is the method where you find two opposite parts, place one in each hand, ask each its positive intention, create recognition and appreciation of the other part & its outcomes, and then bring the hands together for integration.) Robert took each part to the level of a positive purpose, and then began to negotiate an integration. It took a long time, because the two polarities had major objections to each other. I don’t remember the content, but it was the kind of thing where one part wants to work harder to “be successful”, while the other part wants to take it easy to “relax and enjoy oneself”. The part that wanted to enjoy life didn’t care about being successful, and didn’t want to be involved with the other part, and vice versa. Robert did a great job of reframing for both sides, so that finally the parts were willing to do the integration. Everyone was extremely impressed with his negotiation skills and the resolution he was able to get in a difficult situation, and learned a lot.

When Steve commented to me about it afterwards, I remember saying, “Yes, it did work well, but you know, I’m almost certain he wouldn’t have had to do any of that negotiating work if he’d just taken both parts one or perhaps two levels higher in getting the meta-outcome. That would have made the objections evaporate without any effort.” I was clear it would have worked that way, because I’d done it myself many times with people. That was when I realized that I was doing and teaching Parts Integration differently than it was being taught in the NLP field in general.

I am saying this in the context of my high regard for Robert Dilts as a person and trainer. He was one of my/our early teachers of NLP—and we were one of his first sponsors. We used to hire him to do trainings in our basement back in the early days of NLP (1978), and I learned a huge amount from him. He so obviously has offered so much to the field (and to me personally) and continues to do so. This is just about the Japanese proverb, “No one of us is as smart as all of us.” We each have something to add.

The Language Pattern Thread:

The other thread that led me to the CT process is the language patterns. I had always enjoyed working with and teaching language patterns, especially what is called “Meta-Model III” and conversational change. (For those not already familiar, Meta-Model III is a training format rather than a change procedure. Very briefly, the “guide” thinks of the first thing he/she wants to say in an interaction. Rather than saying it, you write it down, and then find all the presuppositions in this sentence, along with the direction you think this will shift the client’s experience. As guide, you rewrite your opening sentence, with better presuppositions, etc. Once you’ve honed your opening sentence, you finally say it, and then the “client responds with one sentence. You write this down also, listing all the presuppositions. Slowing things down in this way allows you to be very purposeful in your interaction, and glean a lot from only a few words.)

When you get experienced at this, you go for the “smoke coming out of the ears” response, which tends to happen when the limiting presuppositions dissolve. What I’ve described is the brief version. There are several examples of me doing public demonstrations of this on the Advanced Language Patterns audio CD set that NLP Comprehensive has. The end of that CD set is from one or two conference presentations I made where I asked for volunteers from the audience, and demonstrated “conversational change” with one person after another.

Our understanding is that the Meta-Model III training format came out of Richard Bandler’s work with clients. Again, with this training format, you are not using any particular process, but you are attending to presuppositions in such a way that you (hopefully) find a unique doorway to change for the specific person in front of you.

The other relevant part is that when Steve and I designed our own Advanced Language Patterns training segment, we added several patterns not in the original set of sleight-of-mouth patterns. (The original sleight-of-mouth patterns were from Robert Dilts’ modeling of Richard Bandler’s work.) Most notably, these extra patterns we called “reversing presuppositions” and “reversing cause-effect.” We got these patterns by modeling my demonstrations of conversational change. We noticed in my demonstrations, I often used several patterns that weren’t in the original set of SOM but that were quite powerful. I also did my best to create a “Language Patterns Flowchart” with the goal of making it easier for people to do conversational change. This flowchart maps out in a very general way how one can systematically and conversationally go from an outcome (or problem) through a complete change. (The flowchart is also part of the “Advanced Language Patterns” set available from NLP Compprehensive.) This background work fairly directly fed into what became the Core Transformation Process.

Finding Core Transformation:

The CT process itself came together in complete form in the summer of 1989, when I gave myself the challenge of working with people who had “tried everything” on their biggest issue, and nothing had worked. I set myself the task of going for the outcome in any way, except that I wouldn’t use any method I knew how to do. I wanted to find something that would go deeper and do more than the methods currently in NLP. I wanted to find something that got the level of change that Milton Erickson had gotten with me, and that would last through time. I wanted to find something that felt deeply healing and transformative. It seemed possible, and I think the audacity of my teachers (such as Richard Bandler and John Grinder) in exploring and finding new ways was catching. I sometimes told people (half-joking but also serious) that we would be working with their life’s biggest issue and they could go home when they had what they wanted. They knew it was an exploration.

I sat down with people, listened carefully for presuppositions in every word they spoke, carefully embedded presuppositions in my own language, and tracked nonverbal states. On top of that, I just trusted that somehow, something would come to me/us to do, that would bring about this deep level change. With the first person I worked with in this way, I found myself asking for a deeper level of positive purpose than I’d done before. I just kept going, waaay beyond the level of “positive.” At some point my client was in a state they couldn’t really describe, but it didn’t take any great sensory acuity on my part to notice that they were in an incredibly positive, powerful state. I don’t recall ever seeing someone in such a strongly, deeply positive state before. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but stepping into their shoes, I could feel some of it myself and I recognized its healing power. It came to me immediately to do something that basically combined the “reversing presuppositions/reversing cause-effect” that I’d been using for years, to manifest the healing potential of this state.

That’s what I did, and those two phases are what I called “Eliciting the Outcome Chain” and “Reversing the Outcome Chain,” which are the keys to the Core Transformation process. Several people later, I added Parental Timeline Reimprinting. This happened when I had guided one client through the CT process, and the intensity of her core state seemed a bit weak for me to trust that she would get a complete shift in her life situation. I thought she needed something to deepen and intensify her experience to ensure that it would “hold.”

That’s pretty much the story. I still have the handouts I created from those 1989 client sessions. The steps are all there in the original notes (used in the March 1990 Post-Master Practitioner training in Colorado), along with criteria for the Core State of Being. While I’ve tweaked the wording over time to maximize response with a wide range of people, both the steps and wording are still very close to my original notes.

Looking back on it, I don’t think that CT is what Erickson did with me. That remains a mystery. The man was an incredible genius and I would still love to know how he did it. But my experience with him is part of the unfolding of the method for me—it is what gave me the clarity that deep change was possible.

A Footnote: Leslie Cameron-Bandler’s work: Leslie is a wonderful therapist and teacher, for whom I have the deepest respect. (While Leslie is not working actively now, you can still sample some excellent therapy demonstrations by Leslie on DVD from NLP Comprehensive—Lasting Feelings and Making Futures Real, and of course her book, Solutions remains a classic introduction to the field.)

Leslie Cameron-Bandler was doing work that had some parallels to my work with Core Transformation, and I would like to acknowledge that. She called it “Imperative Self.” I first learned about Leslie’s method from Metha Singleton, in a presentation at an NLP conference, sometime after I had developed the CT work—so as far as I know her work didn’t influence how CT formed. However Steve suggested that I include a section about the similarities and differences here. The main similarity is that Leslie’s Imperative Self has a “chain” of criteria (similar to the CT outcome chain), and goes to an “overarching criteria.” (I think that’s what she called it.) I went ahead with presenting CT work because I thought CT offered a more complete and deep change method in several ways:

1) With Imperative Self (IS), the “overarching criteria” frequently fell short of a Core State, so its transformative potential was more limited. (As I recall, half the examples Metha presented didn’t get to a Core State level.) With CT work the elicitation procedure makes it possible to always go to that level, and we have specific criteria to know when we are there.

2) The CT elicitation procedure is associated–it guides the client to “step in” to each step in the outcome chain, making it easier to actually get to a deep core state, and easier to experience it once elicited. As presented, the IS work was more conceptual, and the client did not end with a felt experience.

3) Once the Core State is discovered, CT provides an immediate way to utilize it to transform the client’s experience. This wasn’t the case with IS work. It was presented as an elicitation procedure, i.e. “Now you know what your overarching criteria is” without a specific change procedure.

4) With IS, one attempted to find an “overarching criteria” for the whole person by asking questions of the person’s conscious mind. With CT, one works with unconscious parts. This respects that there really isn’t ever a single “criteria chain” that works for the whole person. There are usually multiple parts, each with their own unique “criteria chains” as well as unique and different Core States. By working with “parts” or “aspects” of ourself that arise in different life situations, we can use CT as an ongoing pathway to reaching deeper and deeper aspects of wholeness or oneness that is our nature. Each has a slightly different hue or flavor, and like the different facets of a gem, each adds uniquely to the full result of Wholeness.

Want to Learn More about NLP? What it is, who is interested, etc?

click here for “What is NLP” on Real People Press’s website.

Me and My Shadow

connirae trainers andreas nlp training1

Core Transformation is a powerful tool for awakening to the spirit that lives within each one of us. This process can complement the journey of anyone who seeks to be more in touch with their spiritual nature.

Like the image of David freed by Michelangelo’s vision and his loving hands, our true essence as spiritual beings comes to light as we sculpt through the layers of “shadow stuff” that keep us from fully experiencing the “David” within. Unlike Michelangelo, however, we cannot simply carve away our shadows (aspects of ourselves that we try to hide or deny because we have deemed them unacceptable.) We must transform them.

Connirae Andreas, the developer of the Core Transformation process, states on her audiotape “Spirituality in NLP”, [Some] parts of ourselves can connect deeply right away to our sense of our spiritual nature…, and then we have other parts of us that come out in daily life that seem totally different…. We meditate, we pray, we do whatever it is to develop our spiritual nature. And then we have these other parts that get angry, that feel jealous, that are enraged at things, that feel intimidated sometimes–that don’t seem very spiritual.

With Core Transformation, we look to our non-spiritual parts for the bit of Spirit that we’ve been missing, that we’ve been leaving out in some way.

These words resonated with me when I first heard them several years ago. I was looking for a way to deal with those unacceptable parts of myself that seemed polarized to my desired outcome of evolving Spirit-ward. This polarization had tormented me for much of my life. It was important to me to present myself as a kind and loving person, yet I didn’t always feel loving and kind.

I distinctly remember one night when I was in college, feeling full of anger, self-loathing, and shame, all for no readily apparent reason. The occasional uprising of this terrible shadow disturbed me greatly, and on this particular night I was in tears, feeling empty, alone, and without inner resources to calm myself. My solution at that time was to call a friend and timidly confess to her what a horrible person I was. I have no recollection of her specific response to me, but I know I felt liberated by the experience of admitting to her the existence of this shadow and that I felt embraced by her loving acceptance of me, shadow and all. Just that much was enough to free me for the time being, until I discovered other resources for more complete resolution.

Many authors and leaders in the field of spirituality today are addressing the age-old need to include in our spiritual work some practice of embracing and integrating (rather than attempting to transcend and bypass) our shadows. Paradoxically, the darkness is the source of great light. I, for one, appreciate the direct, trustworthy path offered by the practice of Core Transformation to assist us in transforming our “shadows”.

“Brenda” was a participant in a Core Transformation workshop. She was struggling with an addiction to marijuana. As a psychotherapist, she worked with children and adolescents, so she tried hard to hide her addiction. Although she didn’t go to work while under the influence, she obsessed on the job about getting to go home and smoke.

With great courage, she identified the transformation of this addiction as her primary focus for the weekend workshop. What she discovered was that the underlying positive purpose of the addiction was to have a deep sense of peace within. She had longed for a sense of peace as a young child but had never experienced it fully.

As she was guided through each step of the Core Transformation process, she was able to integrate this sense of peace into her life–past, present, and future–in such a compelling way that she no longer felt the urge to smoke marijuana. Two months later, she reported on the freedom she had found . “I don’t have to go there anymore….[“Inner Peace”] is integrated throughout my whole body and limbs, not just my head or my heart…. I don’t even think about it anymore.”

In his wonderful poem “The Song of a Man Who Has Come Through,” D.H. Lawrence exclaims, “What is the knocking? What is the knocking at the door in the night? It is somebody wants to do us harm. No, no, it is the three strange angels. Admit them, admit them.”

The practice of Core Transformation nudges us insistently in the direction of our true nature, what Pythagoras described as our “divine humanity”. No matter what shadow thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we face, the positive purpose knocking at the door of consciousness (in the form of a limitation) has everything to do with reawakening to our spiritual nature. When we lovingly open the door and invite deep dialogue with these strange angels, we rediscover aspects of ourselves that have been hidden in darkness. Typically described with words like “Peace”, “Love”, “Oneness with God”, “Being”, and “Wholeness”, the Core positive purpose is a wellspring of generative change and healing which supports being in touch with our spritual nature.

In my own experience practicing Core Transformation through time, I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find that some shadow parts are transformed even without my conscious participation. Other people have reported similar findings. As with any practice, at some point Core Transformation seems to take on a life of its own. Our unconscious minds become so familiar with the process that we may find ourselves spontaneously stepping into profound states of peace and joy, and limitations resolving easily and naturally.

Through the practice of Core Transformation, we come to wholeheartedly appreciate, rather than judge and reject, the parts of ourselves that still lurk in the shadows. When we follow the deep longing within the shadow, it reliably guides us to our true selfhood–to the Spirit within.

Kimberlie Chenoweth, M.A., is a certified Core Transformation Trainer and Master NLP Practitioner with a private practice based in Glenwood Springs, CO. She can be reached at tilicho [at] sopris.net.

Core Transformation: Doorway to Self-Acceptance

The client sitting across from me fought back tears as she struggled to express her goal in working with me. “I just always feel so stupid, so inept and worthless. I think most people who know me would be surprised to hear me say that; I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding it. But there are more and more times when I feel like I can’t go through another day. It’s so hard, and I’m so scared all the time. I hate my life, and I hate these feelings. I just want to feel normal, to enjoy my life, but nothing I’ve tried has worked.”

I watched and listened to this lovely, intelligent, talented woman, her fists clenching tightly, voice cracking with every other word, the pain evident on her face, and thought about the numerous times I had heard the same story in slightly different form. “I hate my life, I’m not good enough, I don’t deserve love, I’m ashamed of my body, I’m so scared, I can’t go on …”,

I had heard them all, and often from individuals who, on the surface, seemed to have it all together, were in nniraentrol of their lives, were achieving their goals, and who appeared to have every reason to feel good about themselves and their lives. And yet, under the carefully constructed appearances, lay pain in many guises – loneliness, fear, anger, guilt, and a variety of other feelings that had been bottled up and largely unexpressed for so long.

During 17 years of working with organizations and individuals to facilitate change, I have marveled at how prevalent this kind of emotional/spiritual discomfort is for so many of us, from welfare mom unable to see a way out of her plight to CEO of a billion dollar corporation brilliant at running a business and overwhelmed by despair in his personal life.

When the layers are peeled back and our carefully maintained personas set aside, there remains the nagging fear that perhaps we aren’t good enough and people will begin to see through our façade, and the cold, harsh wind of loneliness blowing through an empty place deep in the spirit. Having lived through childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood in that fear and despair myself, it’s familiar territory. I’ve been there, done that.

The symptoms can be addressed, distractions and diversions entered into for some temporary relief, but a crucial and profound question remains: what is the source of this angst, this feeling for so many of wandering through life unconnected, unacceptable, and in a permanent posture of self-protection?

Many contend (this writer among them) that, ultimately, this restlessness, experienced in degrees from irritation and anxiety to despair and hopelessness, springs from the separation of the soul from its Source. It is, perhaps, as if we are living far from our true Home, and suffering the pangs of homesickness.

On the less esoteric plane of earth-bound experience, history (my own and that of many clients) appears to indicate that much of the pain hidden just under the surface for many individuals is a reflection of our separation from parts of ourselves. So many of us grow up learning to hide aspects of ourselves in the fear that, should others see us as we really are, they will not accept or love us. This act of hiding shows up in various forms, denial of the existence of that aspect, neglect of that part (often in the hope, conscious or not, that if we starve it of attention it will go away or die), anger toward and/or abuse of the aspect of ourselves that we find unacceptable.

Whatever the form in which the separation from self manifests, it is as if we regard the agitating aspect of ourselves as the enemy, rather than a potential ally in the process of learning to live a rich, fully present life. In treating an aspect of ourselves as the enemy, we leave that aspect disenfranchised, separated from the rest of us. And, ironically, in rejecting a part of ourselves because we don’t like how it looks, how it behaves, or what it is, we virtually ensure that it will continue and probably increase the very things for which we have rejected it.

It’s a bit like a two-year old who, upon feeling separate from his mother, acts out in greater and louder ways in an attempt to get her attention and be reassured that he is loved and safe. When we let a part of us know that it’s not wanted, it will tend to do whatever it has to do to get our attention. Weight that has always been stubborn gets even more so, addictive urges become compulsions, a lack of confidence becomes feelings of powerlessness, anger begins to color everything in our experience, blinding us to joy.

So, how do we heal? Living with some aspect of us absent is like driving on only a couple of cylinders – you won’t get far and it will be a rough ride. So inviting those parts we’ve left out is imperative in order to be really present in our lives.

The Core Transformation process, developed by Connirae Andreas, is a gentle and respectful vehicle for that invitation (see the book Core Transformation by Connirae Andreas and Tamara Andreas). Based on the presupposition that behind everything in our lives is a positive intention, this moving process engages the separated (and generally misunderstood) aspect of the individual in dialogue, resulting in acknowledgement, understanding, and change. It quickly becomes clear that at the root of the behavior, feelings, or thoughts the individual wants to change has always been an intention that is positive, even loving and noble.

The weight that has refused to drop off, the addictions, the anger or fear, the painful shyness, these haven’t been products of self-sabotage or self-betrayal, but rather attempts by a part of us to get us from where we are to where we need to be. And often, attempts made by a part that’s operating with limited resources, but doing the best it knows how. When we can respond to that part on the basis of its intention rather than its troubling behavior, it becomes much easier and even joyful to invite that part back into ourselves.

Core Transformation allows that part of the individual, maybe for the first time, to be really understood and welcomed. And, with remarkable and often life-changing results, the aspect that has been railed against, sworn at, and generally disrespected for so long learns how to step into and operate from the state it’s really been seeking, its true emotional destination.

… I sat watching and listening to my client, her posture now relaxed, her voice no longer constricted, her whole demeanor peaceful. She had had a remarkable experience, one that changed things in powerful ways.

Through the Core Transformation process she had learned that the part of her that had been generating the painful feelings of worthlessness and fear had been looking for protection, and through protection it wanted to feel safe. Through safety, this important part of her wanted to relax, so that it could be aware of beauty and enjoy life. It wanted to enjoy life in order to find peace, so that it could experience oneness with God. Now, “oneness with God” seems to be a long way from the initial worthlessness and fear, but in exploring the progression, it made sense. Protection – safety – relaxation – be aware of beauty and enjoy life – peace – oneness with God.

This part of her had been engaged in an intricate system of things designed to get her to oneness with God. The difficulty was that it wasn’t working; she was stuck in the worthlessness and fear phase. As a result of the Core Transformation process, she was able to move directly into the state that had been so elusive without any need for the interim steps.

By providing expression and acknowledgment for all parts of the self, Core Transformation offers the opportunity to move toward wholeness, self-acceptance, and joy.

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